Saturday, January 24, 2009

A single drop of hope

Since it seems there are some people actually reading this (*gasp!*) I'm going to go ahead and warn that this post is about preparing for adoptive breastfeeding and thus includes many TMI tidbits.

Yesterday at the children's consignment sale I really, really stocked up. Like nuts. I kept trying to catalogue it all and always realized I forgot one more item. I'm going back tomorrow, with a lunch for Paxton and my new stroller, and buying more. We will need tons of onesies, prefolds, receiving blankets, etc and tomorrow is 50% off day.

Anyway, some of the items I bought yesterday included items to help me with nursing. I now have 7 pairs of nursing pads, a book on nursing, 3 nursing bras that fit, and a brand spanking new manual pump kit in a pretty little black bag.

I decided yesterday afternoon, while Paxton was napping, to just test out the pump. Why not? I can say, as my first bit of TMI, that every time I think about the new baby my breasts swell and nipples get sensitive. It's like there's this ache there, this need that wants to be filled. And no, husband, you can't fill this one ;-)

So I figured out its intuitive design, hooked myself up and began pumping.

It was awwwwwesome! I mean, it felt like there was this horrible itch in there that needed scratching and the pumping made it feel so much better. It was relief all around.

So I pumped for a bit, knowing full well that nothing would come of it. I mean, I only took 1/3 the amount of Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle that was recommended and no other supplements, and I stopped those weeks ago. I expected that my breasts might get plumper or even a bit sore, but nothing else.

When I finally pulled the pump away from my right breast, ie the compliant and non-inverted one, there it was.

A drop.

A single clear drop of liquid squeezing out, reacting to the pumping action.

My God, there was a small food item coming out of me!

I was, and still am, stunned. I contacted someone at La Leche League for some information and still haven't heard back, though I know she can help (I know her, another Ethiopian adoptive mom). I need to know if this is normal or if this is cause to really celebrate.

Ah, screw it, I'll celebrate anyway!

I pumped again last night and made more liquid and it came out faster. There was a small arc of it in the pump.

This morning there was a little puddle in there. It came out almost immediately.

My left nipple is starting to comply too, no liquid yet and not as swollen, but the nipple is coming out for me quicker and staying out longer, as well as stretching further out. Both breasts are swelling and it's like I can *feel* the insides of them working, especially my right breast. In fact, it felt a little, iunno, heavy I guess, until I hooked up the pump and pulled out some liquid.

I'm starting up with the Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle again. No idea if this means milk will come in easily and if so how long that will take.

And yet... there's hope now. Like, real, honest to God, there's something coming out of my nipples hope.

And right now that's more than enough for me :)

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