I wish I was this zealous about, iunno, cleaning or something.
I found a wetbag! A huge, extra large, great condition drawstring wetbag. Our other XL wetbags don't fit my nice $2 diaper pail, but this $12 wetbag is gigantic on it! Also a fitted OS cloth diaper for $6, maybe going back for more fitteds of specific sizes. A couple pieces of clothes, tons of nursing supplies, some books and some HS supplies.
I'm REALLY enjoying homeschooling so far. I'm literally shocked by how much Paxton is absorbing. I mean just shocked! Our lesson on plants still sits with him and he's so happy to tell you what in the yard is a plant. This week it was taste (next week might be touch) and he loves pointing out everyone's tastebuds and how they help you taste. He's already learning his letters. He knows all his upper case and can sing the alphabet, though sometimes after K he'll count to 10. He knows many of his lowercase letters. He's learning to count to 20 now. He's actually starting to write numbers and letters, like P and T and 2 and 5, and I and 1 are just easy of course :) He's memorizing books, some word for word, and reading them to himself with voice inflections. He's even singing some songs finally! And every time we sit down and have a lesson he actually LEARNS something. I didn't expect that! I thought he'd be storing like 30% of the information away and pulling it out at a later time, but no, he's actually very, very excited to be learning new things and is fine with learning a new subject. I always wished to be blessed with a child who had a love of learning, and we were most certainly thus blessed :)
Pumping is soooooo much easier with the electric pump. I can see why everyone laughed at me and said not to use the manual. With the manual I was getting bruised, it felt frustrating, and I was hurting more and more each time. With the PIS I'm still getting about as much milk, no more, but it feels better each time, like it's repairing the damage wrought by the manual. I don't feel bruised and any pain stops after a few seconds (the initial "OMG my nipples!" goes away faster and faster). I need to start pumping sometime in the night I know. I'm such a wuss! I don't wanna do it! But I will. I woke up at 4am with achy boobs today and just kept waking up afterwards. I guess I'll have the pump beside the bed maybe.
All of the videogame sequels I'm longing for aren't coming out anytime in the foreseeable future :( This makes me sad. I suppose I should save that for my ladyofmoonlight LJ account though. Trying to stay family only over here and me only over there!
I've been a mom almost a year and a half. I finally feel like I have it down. I relate to other moms, my child plays frequently and well with other children, and I feel completely settled and comfortable in my own skin. I didn't even realize how uncomfortable I felt until I reached this more recent zen and looked back on it. This second adoption we're embarking on doesn't seem scary, the thought of adding another fills me with delite and not fear, and despite all the hard times and even the times I end up being a witch I'm still so, so happy to spend my days with my son. Our marriage is thriving, Paxton is thriving, our friendships are growing, and as individuals we're all feeling well and at least mostly fulfilled. I just had to record that feeling before something happens, as something ultimately will, that throws us off kilter again. But it's a great feeling, to look back at my life and realize it's just been getting better and better. I'm very, very, very lucky :)
I needed to share this before I forgot again, as I don't think I wrote it down when it happened and I didn't want it to be lost to my mommy brain.
A week or two ago Paxton was on a playground. I don't recall exactly what happened (run and bump heads? Seesaw accident?) but somehow both Paxton and another child got hurt at the same time. Not huge hurt, but enough to except a good minute of tears. Both grabbed their heads and started crying. I rushed to Paxton. Paxton, crying and clutching his head, rushed to the other child and through his tears said "y'okay?" and checked that child's head. I was blown away to the point of almost crying myself. Paxton was reacting 100% on gut instinct. He was hurt and crying and clutching his head in pain and his #1 concern was... the well being of another who was in equal pain.
My God, I don't think I've ever been more proud of my son. It's moments like this that I feel truly show the heart of a person and I'm so, so proud to call him my own and to have a glimpse into who my little child is and will hopefully someday be.
Lily in a loafing barn
6 months ago