Do my dearest child,
Why, oh why, do you fight sleep?
You know you're tired. I know you're tired. After your various meltdowns at the children's museum today followed by screaming and crying on the way back to the car half of Raleigh knows you're tired. You even admit it to me.
So why do you fight it?
We both know the reason, I suppose. Like many small babies, you like to be restrained when falling asleep. Not every time, no. In fact you stopped wanting that altogether months ago and have been good about falling asleep on your own. But lately you've been less sure of yourself, what with your daddy suddenly being home a lot and then suddenly going back to work a few weeks later. Your world is a bit off right now and understandably you've regressed a bit and need to test me a bit and need a bit more reassurance. I used "bit" four times in the last sentence.
Well, son, here's a newsflash for you: I hate restraining you. I feel icky inside. I worry someone will see me holding a three year old child down to a bed while he wails a bit and will get the wrong idea. Sure I'm fine with holding you tight in my arms, but I just feel wrong having to hold you down to a bed, even if you actually told me today that this was what you wanted.
So can we stop this now? Because I just don't feel right doing it, and you're a big enough boy that you should understand that you can lay in my arms or just hold my hand or even sleep in my bed beside me if that's what you need. In fact, if you could stop rejecting all those options and maybe pick one I'd vastly prefer it.
Also it's a bit annoying, but the icky feeling is a bit more prevailing than annoyance.
As a side note, my son, would you mind taking a long nap like you did yesterday? I'm sure you're going to wake up in an hour or so, bleary eyed and angry and spitting and hitting, and quite frankly I'd prefer that not happen. So how about you let momma get her nice nap and you get a nice nap, and then we both wake up happy and refreshed in two hours and spend an afternoon blissfully playing at the park then at home with daddy. Sound good?
I hope that tomorrow you can do what you did yesterday and return to your days of falling asleep with a book for nap. I'm sure the extra brightness now isn't helping any, but if you could please at least consider it? Please?
Lily in a loafing barn
10 months ago