I was about to type up a post about how sweet my boy has been lately and then he threw a small book into my eye. Now he's in time out. Such is life....
But he really has grown these past few weeks. Everyone's noticing it too. Not only is my short little chunkster becoming kinda long and gangly, but he's speaking more frequently, is interacting far more, is taking charge of some situations and is being far more social. He's also showing more complex developmental skills like keeping a beat, memorizing songs and books, talking about things that happened weeks-months ago, noticing when something's missing, noticing things that match out of a large group, noticing shapes in everyday objects and remembering what has or hasn't been sung in our little list of songs. He also now knows all the songs I listen to on certain CDs and will ask for his favorite song on a CD if he hears any of the songs. Siiiiiigh. That's a bit annoying. There's only so much "jumpin' jumpin'" by Destiny's child that I can take! And "Bye bye bye"! I'm so over that!
Sometimes I wish I could just take pills, not pump and sleep through the night. Maybe I could. I'm getting a little over an ounce a day, maybe 1.5 oz? It kinda doesn't seem worth it especially when we're so lost as to the whens and hows of baby #2. But then I think that maybe I'll be up to a workable amount of EBF by the time the baby is placed in my arms and I'll actually be able to feed my child in the most natural way possible. So I don't know. What I do know now is that I'm very, very tired and my son wouldn't nap today, something I'm okay with as he had trouble sleeping last night and I want him to pretty much pass out tonight in order to get him back on schedule. But it still sucks. And the thought of pumping through the night...
Well, at least the Ameda is working better for me. And I'm adjusting to it and it's getting easier to get what little milk there is out of me without any squeezing and cajoling, meaning that hopefully in the future when I make more than .25 oz over the nighttime I'll actually buy a special bra and hands free set for this, so I can sleeeeeeep. As a side note, I think I'm only getting the .25 oz because I'm just so tired and don't do well with that whole "sticking with it" thing at 1am and 4am.
This "affected by caffeine" thing sucks. I seriously need something to keep me awake. I'm having trouble typing and keeping my eyes open. But if I drink caffeine now I won't sleep tonight and I'll be even worse tomorrow. Coffee takes at least 12 hours to wear off with me, often more like 16 when had before bed and I've literally not slept a wink on nights where I had even one cup of coffee, accidentally or no (sometimes people misplace their decaf). But I'm sooooo tired! I keep yawning!
I think I'll take Paxton back to the kid's museum in a little while. May as well go pump then, oh joy of joys. It's not really that annoying or uncomfortable or inconvenient, actually. It's just the THOUGHT of "I have to do this" that gets to me. It's going to sleep knowing you're going to be up in 2 hours pumping. It's knowing you'll need to pump right before heading out then right when you get back. It's knowing that you'll have to plan your day around it (when really you're just planning it into your day). And sometimes when I think "I could be pumping like this for another year until there's a baby and then be nursing for a year or two..."
Lily in a loafing barn
4 months ago