Monday, April 13, 2009

Uuuuuuuugh...

Dear Child,

Me again. Mom. The person you like to randomly beat on and then cry when it hurts your hand and make me kiss it. Yes, the paradoxical loving beat bag thing.

Hey, so, um.... why the no napping?

You went to sleep uber late two nights in a row AND you had no nap yesterday AND you look like a little drunk raccoon with dark circled hardly open zombie eyes and erratic movements. You are utterly, utterly exhausted and bedtime isn't for 6.5 hours.

And I refuse to hold you down.

I'm sorry, did you not get that?

I said I refuse to hold you down.

No more.

No more of me "cuddling" you while you scream and shriek and no more leaning half on you till you fall asleep.

If you want to actually cuddle? Fine. Wanna fall asleep on your own? Double fine. But this "please hold me down jus' a little bit" crud? Not fine at all.

And it needs to stop.

Not only for my sanity but because soon (maybe very soon) there's going to be another little person here and I won't have an hour a day to hold your shrieking, screaming, crying little bum down to sleep. To cuddle you to sleep? Fine. But I don't want this house to be full of screaming and fighting and I don't like that naptime for you has degraded back into some bizarre "working out my insecurities" thing where you have to be held tightly and you scream.

I also don't like how if I'm not there watching/holding you until you're asleep you will get up and play with your toys. No matter what. Even if you're practically passed out.

I'm sick of this.

For almost a YEAR you had it right. If you needed me there I was there, and if you didn't I wasn't, and you always went to sleep just fine on your own.

And we are going to get back there.

Step one: No more mommy "cuddle" times in which you ask me to cuddle you and then proceed to fight me then get mad at me if I back off. I'm sorry, I just don't see how this is helping.

Step two: I'm about to go upstairs into your room. I'm going to remove your toys. Tomorrow I may remove your books if you do it again. Then I'm going to have "me" time whether or not you're asleep. It's not that I don't want to spend time with you or that I don't love you. It's that I absolutely will no encourage or reward behavior that is harmful to everyone and helps no one.

I'm sure someday you'll understand.

And that day... is the day you get to put BB down for a nap.

Oh. Oh, I look forward to that day... hehehehehhehehehe....

1 comment:

Rachel said...

Are you familiar with Holding Time? It really sounds like your son is setting up a similar situation - it's a way of expressing your feelings in a safe environment. If you want to know more about it feel free to shoot me an email at manytimesblessed@gmail.com

Hope you figure out the bedtime thing regardless! :) It's no fun when they won't sleep.