I'm mostly updating about my life on Facebook now. For anyone who actually reads this and wants to follow me there, my name is Megan McKenney Everett. I'm happy to add anyone :)
Now, onto the happenings of the past couple weeks!
A few weeks ago I actually broke down crying with Nik. I had my 10-15th duct blockage and was in such pain and there wasn't an end in sight. I just... want our baby. I started trying to pump in late January, we've been in process over a year, I've been living my life by the pump for over half a year, and all I want is our child to hold and love. So I finally gave in and just sobbed and whined my li'l heart out.
On Monday, Sept 14 (?) I was in a mood. An awful, antsy, OMG can't it just happen already mood. And I'd been praying and wishing and hoping and even giving up hope a bit, and checking my email like crazy because dangit something had to give. And then there was an email. A situation with a woman due Oct 5. And it sounded perfect. I called Nik to ask if it was okay then replied asking the agency to please show our profile.
I made it through Tuesday okay. We weren't expecting to hear anything then. Though I was already giving up hope. Another couple's face kept popping in my head whenever I thought about the situation, and I was sure they'd be picked. So sure, in fact, that I was kinda rooting for them. I was prematurely happy for them. I don't even know if they asked to be shown...
Wednesday we expected to hear something. I was checking my email constantly to see if we'd get the email saying who'd been chosen. I really didn't think we'd get the call saying it was us, just the email saying it wasn't.
On Thursday it was pretty much the same, only getting antsier. I reread some of the profiles on the agency website and caught something: one of the couples I thought was up for this situation was only wanting a girl. This was to be a boy. Suddenly we had a 1/3 chance or better. I was also at peace in the knowledge that we were #1 on the list for an African American baby boy should a situation come in where the agency would chose (we were waiting the longest for that specific situation).
On Friday I took P to a pony farm for a Triangle Mommies playdate. I kinda insulted one of the moms but sorta introducing myself when we'd already talked for an hour or so like a month before. I was just so antsy and out of it! We hadn't gotten word yet and I was... well, I was starting to hope. And that was scary! So I explained that to her, and explained it to a bunch of the other moms, most of whom are pregnant. It was when P was throwing a fit that I first felt the phone vibrating in my pocket but grappling with P I got to the phone too late. I didn't recognize the number, but it said it was from a town a few hours away. I was really starting to hope.
And then, about ten minutes later...
I picked up and said, "hello."
"Hi," said a cheery voice. "May I please speak with Sarah?"
My heart, which had just lept at the call, dropped to my feet I swear. My sister's name is Sarah. I am Megan. It was a wrong number from another town and nothing more.
"I'm sorry," I said, kinda sullenly. "There's no Sarah here."
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she responded. "I'm bad with names. You're Megan right? I'm M with ACH, and I'm calling because you've just been chosen for the situation with the woman due in a couple weeks!"
I think I'm paraphrasing. In fact, I'm sure of it. It was all so fuzzy! It's like my head and heart just exploded. My body was shaking and I was sweating and starting sobbing without tears and babbling and, OMG, she picked us! US! WE were finally chosen for a baby! A BABY!
We spoke with M for a bit, and then with R, the woman who chose to place her child with us. I had no idea what to say and actually worried that I turned her off to us with my babbling but, Oh Man, I was so excited and relieved and scared and happy and OMG!
The other moms cheered for us and helped me keep an eye on Paxton. I got several hugs. P had no idea what was going on. When my mind came back to me he was in a chicken coop, though apparently allowed to be there. I stood beside him as he rode a pony and tried desperately to reach Nik, whose phone had run out of batteries. I called my mom to let her know we were off for babysitting that Saturday (as we'd have to go to the other town and meet everyone), but I didn't tell her why. Not until I could reach Nik. I left him some rather pissy voicemails.
Finally on the drive home (I should NOT have been driving!) I emailed him (really should not have been doing that!) and said simply "Call me". I got a call a minute or two later and told him the good news. Then I got to call others and announce it on Facebook. Though my best friend Renata already knew before Nik. Hey, I had to tell someone!
Saturday was a blur! We left at 9am in the fully tanked minivan, packed some snacks and gifts, and drove to the other town. We stopped at a mall for a bit and bought a more appropriate gift ( a photo album) for R, to go along with the little bath set I bought at the mall. Then it was off to the restaurant.
I don't want to go too in depth in public about our meeting, but it went well. Very well, I think. There weren't too many questions asked and mostly we talked about random things like favorite foods, or R and I talked about our sons (her 2 year old was there).
After the meeting we went to a children's/science museum that was NOT worth it at all. So expensive and not fun! Should've just gone back to the mall, honestly. But P, as usual, had fun. And Nik and I got to sit around and just digest (not so much the food as the information and realization that, OMG, we were picked!). Also R said she didn't want to have any naming rights, even though we offered up the middle name territory to her. So we got to throw names around to go with our beloved first name until we found a combination we love :)
Sunday we announced it in church. Why not? It was already on Facebook!
We then spent the whole next week jumping at everything. She'd already had labor pains, what if she went early? We had to be ready! Obviously, that didn't happen :)
This past Sunday we took care of our infant care class requirement with a woman our agency uses to teach other useful classes. It was late and expensive-ish but very informative and worth it. I feel a little more comfortable now.
This week we're also a bit jumpy. Her due date is Monday!
I got a call from M last night letting us know that R had gone into false labor on Tuesday but the doctor's sent her home. They're both going in for a Dr. appt tomorrow to set up a C-section. It's possible the baby will come then, but we don't know. I think I can safely say that all of us our looking forward to him being born! And I'm happy to report that the hospital is knowledgeable and supportive about R's decision to place and is working with our adoption agency. Not all hospitals are like that so I feel better knowing where they stand.
We're preparing. Right now I'm stocking up like crazy on the breastmilk, almost 1,000 ounces in the deep freezer (and so much food in there now!). I'm putting together 200 oz and some special bottles for respite care. I've had a cooler in the deep freezer for a week now! And on Monday I'll be going to a new friend's house to learn how to use a Maya Wrap! I wanna be able to latch li'l A right on to me and just stuff him safely into the sling. We'll see! I'm sure both of those will take practice!
P's only issue with this is he reeeeeally wants a little sister. But he's starting to understand that he doesn't have a choice in the matter. I've told him that maybe next time we'll get a girl :)
I have so much to talk about really, so many things P's been able to do lately Mr. "Growing up at lightning speed." But I guess that's for another time, or just for my own personal memories.
All I can really say right now is that things are going well for us and we hope and pray that they continue to go well. Hopefully I'll be updating soon with good news about li'l A. I can't wait!!!
Lily in a loafing barn
2 days ago