Kinda weepy

Am one handed, will be shortish.

I think I have some adoption blues. Am not depressed, just getting a bit weepy at the end of the day. Kinda sucks. Also, loaned out fave video game which always makes me happy. Sucks too. Nik is awesome, listens, hugs, provides ice cream.

Totally love my boys. Past 2 days have been good but A kinda fussy. Growth spurting? He's 16 days old. Cord fell off, flipped himself over twice and held head up during tummy time.

Mostly when I'm weepy it's over really missing my one on one time with P. He's growing so fast and has really changed in past week. Has risen to the occasion and is good big brother. I'm never getting my little P back. He really is a big boy now. It went so fast and I miss it. Wish I could go back and make myself enjoy him more. He really is a great kid. Gah, I'm homeschooling! I have like 14+ more years of being with him and watching him grow, day in day out! And I should be proud. He's pottytrained and initiating convos and being polite and standing up for himself and asking permission and playing nicely and just being the most awesome big brother. And he still needs us and we still snuggle and still have so much one on one. But I still miss it and I didn't appreciate it. And I just love him so much.

K, am crying hard now. God I love my chilfdren. I pray that, as hard as it is for me to watch them grow, that they grow up to be big, strong, good men in a world more tolerant than the one now. I just love them both so, so, so much.