On Saturday I asked Nik to take P to have his hair cut at the barbers before having their daddy-son day together. I really can't care for it on a daily basis like I could and at that point it was just screaming "mommy's a white girl," if you know what I mean. Poor thing looked awful with unmoisturized, uncaredfor hair and I just wanted it shaved down and manageable, at least for the time being until we get into a groove (and the baby lets me put him down).
Apparently it was quite traumatic, but I wasn't there and didn't take it seriously. I know he's shrieked the other times we did it too and figured it wasn't too big a deal.
Then yesterday, at church, he had an outright panic meltdown. I haven't seen him that bad in months. Nik says 2 months for him, I'd say 6 months for me. He totally flipped. We're talking hitting, biting, shrieking and blood curdling screams at the top of his lungs. After trying to calm him I took the baby into the hall while Nik held him in the library. I was barely holding it together and people kept coming by wondering what was up with the screams...
We finally had to take him home like that and Nik held him for another half hour until it passed. He was still "off" in the afternoon, but much better than he'd been all morning.
I was shocked and scared and upset and just so, so tired.
And then I used what few braincells I have active right now, trying to think about the trigger.
Nik told me it was the barber shop. That was the big difference. I didn't listen at first, but then...
When we got his referral photo over 2 years ago he had a mohawk. The Sidama mohawk. Nice and cleanly shaved around the sides. He'd been cleanly shaved when he arrived at the orphanage. He'd been cleanly shaved right before leaving his first family. OMG, I'm an idiot.
But an idiot with a bit more insight.
And he's happier today. And his hair looks so nice!
(on another note, must buy my own razer. He doesn't freak out when we trim him at home)
Lily in a loafing barn
1 year ago