I don't write, or think, enough about how grateful I am (or should be!). So here's a quick list since, honestly, I'm quite grateful for all of it, every last bit of the life I live.
I am grateful to live in a land and in a situation where I can honestly be whatever I want to be, even a stay at home mom, if I work hard enough. I can afford good food without looking at the price tag, can eat out, can go out with my husband thanks to my mom's help, can sleep comfortably in a warm bed in a large, safe house in a calm, diverse neighborhood. I have education under my belt and have access to many universities and classes should I opt to pursue more. I'm very, very, very lucky in my living situation.
I'm grateful to have found an incredible, caring, responsible and fun man right off the bat and to have only dated, and then married, him. He cooks, he cleans, he apologizes, and he changes if only I ask (and I don't ask often). He takes good care of us when we need to be taken care of, and is low maintenance himself. I love my time with him, whether with the boys or just the two of us. I'm very, very, very lucky to have found him so early and to have such a great relationship.
I'm grateful for my oldest son, grateful that he bonded, that he's grown and adjusted so much, and grateful that he continues to grow and adjust. I'm grateful that he keeps me laughing every day, and grateful that the second he's hurt he runs to me for love to make it better. I'm grateful that after all the pain he's endured, all the times he's felt abandoned, all the times he's switched maternal figures and all the times I myself have messed up and turned my back on him when I shouldn't have... he still hasn't given up on me. I'm still his mom and he's still my big boy and we still have an awesome, awesome relationship that continues to grow and develop. He may drive me nuts sometimes (like this morning!) but he has a special place in my heart carved out all for him. I'm so, so lucky that fate and God brought us together.
I'm grateful for my youngest son, grateful that he's growing and thriving and smiling and just changing by the day. I'm grateful for his calm demeanor, grateful that he's a good eater, grateful that he's healthy and happy and doing well. I'm grateful that he loves my smell and sleeps in my arms, as much as this may annoy some people. I'm grateful that we have the chance to raise him right from the beginning. I'm so grateful too that I'm able to nurse him, that he doesn't have any food sensitivities and latches well. After so much work he's making it very easy on me. And I'm grateful that I got to meet the wonderful woman who conceived, carried and birthed him, and I can safely say he has her smile, a warm, boisterous grin that lights up the room. Again, I'm so, so lucky to have him join our family.
I'm grateful that both of my sons were loved wholeheartedly, and cared for to the extent that their first family was able. The love provided to them shines through them. Their first families did them an incredible favor in their care and I'm eternally grateful to them.
I'm grateful for friends, for family, for life, for sadness, for pain, for joy, for relief, for sorrow, for enthusiasm, and for every insipid internet page I read on a daily basis. I'm grateful for fast-reading books and celebrity gossip, grateful for domperidone and cloth diapers, grateful for internet forums and communities, grateful for, well, everything. Everything, everything, everything.
Which is all much easier to say when you got both a shower AND a cup of coffee, uninterupted (mostly) in the same morning.
Lily in a loafing barn
11 months ago