Doesn't look like it will be happening. At least with Paxton. At least anytime soon. If there's anything the past month (and especially this past snow-day filled week) has shown us it's that there is a MAJOR difference in his personality when he goes to school. Like, MAAAAJOOOOOR. Like, "OMG, who is this adorable little angel child and what did you do with my real kid?" Though to be fair it's not like I've never seen this side of his personality before. In fact, pre-Ambrose it was becoming very common for him to act like this around me most of the week and only play the role of "cute but annoying little butt" on the weekends.
I'm not entirely sure why it's such a big change, but I know it is. To the point that I rushed around to find something to do this summer when school is out because, OMG, I could NOT take a summer of that nastiness! The rudeness, defiance, anger, sometimes-violence, sadness and outright totally buttishness was just too much over the course of this week. And then... yesterday he went to school for 2 hours and my little angel came back. Yup, we need school.
So we'll be registering him for preschool again next fall, and spending over $1K to send him to a half day summer camp, 5 days a week, for 10 weeks this summer, at the kids museum we frequent (like, near daily... c'mon, my kid is on the membership brochure, does it really surprise anyone that we're on a first name basis with the staff or people drop what they're doing to come talk to us?). If my quick, sleep deprived calculations are correct this means that we'll have no more than 1 week off straight. There will be several (maybe 4?) weeks off, of course, but that's fine. I can handle a week I think, especially if I know in advance.
We're going to keep an eye on the new Magnet program at the elementary school in our neighborhood. If the test scores go up this year and next then I don't think I'd feel bad sending P there. I mean, seriously, it takes us like 20 minutes to walk there at child speed. And I can play in the park with Ambrose for a bit, or even both of them, around drop off/pick up times. It's entirely convenient for us. AND the new Magnet program focuses on science and mathematics, two things at which P is shaping up to be quite good (for his age).
Fingers crossed that the new program works out!!!
As for homeschooling... still a possibility for Ambrose, and still a possibility for Paxton when he's older. We'll see! And I'm always, always, always going to supplement their education and be involved. I want my boys to be educated, dernit!!!
There are 3 big possibilities for baby #3 right now: Ethiopia, Democratic Republic of Congo, and domestic USA. So, uuuuhhhh.... yeah. I'm info gathering right now. The big thing is if we pick a program that takes 18 months we want to start soon.
Aside from the gender thing, there's something that's struck me again, and has struck me each time, and will probably strike me forever even though I tend to forget about it when things are said and done: Adoption is FLIPPING EXPENSIVE!!!!
I mean, yeah, we were able to afford it debt free twice now, in our early-to-mid twenties, on one income with almost no savings pre-process. Total miracles I say.
The first time around, we had a family "donation" of $5K (called the "make me a grandma dammit!" fund), $3K given from unused vacation when NIk left a job, $3K from tax refund as we'd gotten married and I wasn't working, $8K saved up over 5 months of seeeerious budgeting that was just hell on me, and another $5K from Nik's new (then) job, adoption assistance that Nik had written into his contract.
The second time around we had the tax credit. Well, more convoluted, we used the tax refund and $$ left over to buy a bigger house to support more kids (and to be in a safer, quieter, more diverse neighborhood). Then we had no $ but did a HS anyway bringing us down to just hundreds in savings. Like $400 around Christmas. Scary. Then, after 7 loooooong months, the house sold. And Nik lost his job. BUT, but but but, they gave him severance. And he started to work before severance ran out. And he made a lot extra as a contractor. And Cobra was cheaper than we thought (Thanks Obama!). And his new job gave more $$. And we got the tax refund back. So we went from $400 to like $20,000+ in savings in a couple months. Crazy!
The third time around...
We won't be able to use the tax credit next year, if there even is a tax credit to take (ohpleaseohpleaseohpleeeeease!). Paxton's has pretty much run out, Ambrose hasn't been with us long enough and isn't finalized. So we'll have a child credit (for only 1 kid) of $1K and that's it.
So... we'll have to see how things go. We do have some $ left over but not nearly enough to complete an adoption. Start and adoption? Yes. But we'll need another $20K to bring home baby #3.
Again, this is why 18 months might be useful. I'm wondering now if I can find some "on the side" job (especially one internet based since I'm sitting here nursing so frequently) that will help bring in some $. We'd need to put away an extra $1K/mo really, though I know money comes in fits and starts (or at least has in the past). I'm... not sure how we'll manage it.
But I wasn't sure how we'd manage it the other 2 times and things eventually fell into place and it just... happened. And, obviously, no regrets on this end!
So we'll have to see... and I'll have to maybe get off my butt and try to find actual, real, worth-it internet jobs :) If any exist!
Lily in a loafing barn
5 months ago