Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Enjoying them

First a quickie on Brozy: Yesterday he learned how to climb stairs, and he's pretty dern confident and fast. He also seems to have solidified his ability to sit up from the scooting position. More and more we find him up on hands and knees, tummy off the floor, and he can get to this position easily from his tummy on floor scoot position. He just doesn't want to. He's a scooter, what can I say? Though I have seen him crawl a couple times... backwards. Oy. But he's getting so close to walking and is coming along so well that I don't think it matters. Milestone after milestone, bit by bit, they grow so fast!!!


I probably don't have much time given that it's the end of naptime. I just got Brozy back into light sleep after waking 45 minutes ago and being cranky. P should be up at or by 3pm, in about 15 minutes. So not much time. But oh, I can type fast :) And lots!

Today I decided to just enjoy my boys. I know, I know, it's something I should be doing every day. I get so caught up in developments and educational opportunities and social situations and attitudes that sometimes I don't think to just sit back and have fun with them but instead turn everything with P into a life lesson and everything with A into a distraction. Some days I catch myself doing it more than I should and I stop and just... relax. Let it go. And enjoy!

And this morning? We enjoyed.

I took P to the farm, one of our great enjoyment places. Typically when we're there it's pretty empty so there's no pressure to interact with other kids if he doesn't want to. He gets the free play aspect, and the crazy load of sensory input his body enjoys, and we can just walk and talk and do whatever. It's typically a place where he doesn't act up and I have no reason to scold, correct, or warn. I can just sit back and chill and watch him play in the hay jump or the corn pit, go down the long slide with him laughing, push Brozy in a swing or nurse him in the cool shade of a tree, feed the animals and coo over rabbits, etc. For a couple blissful hours there's no raising my voice except to squeal "wheeee!" when going down the slide, and P is so dang happy there that he listens to even my tiniest suggestions, actually listens to reason and rationality, actually believes in natural consequences.

Nothing is forced, nothing is falsified, we're simply mother and sons enjoy and laughing and learning together.

I wish all days could be like that. I wish all places could bring on this tranquility. And I wish I could believe that simply going to the farm each day would induce this bliss, but I'm too intelligent and see patterns too easily to know that it's the rarity of this sort of trip that brings on P's compliance and near euphoria.

If there's anything this summer has really helped to teach me, it's that I need to enjoy my sons, and that if I work too hard at doing so I won't really be doing it. I need to find situations for this, I need to alter my own attitude and expectations. I need to let some things slide because P's reached a level of security where letting small things slide doesn't actually lead to a massive melt down and entire incidences which used to lead to days of hatefulness are now swept under the rug within moments and never thought of again.

And when things do bother him, when things really seem out of control around here, a bit too spontaneous, a bit too unstructured, he now has the words and the ability to verbalize this.

And Ambrosey, sweet Ambrosey, is so much less structured and more fun now. So long as we have a place where he can be put down at least for a couple minutes he's happy, though he'd rather be down and exploring his world all day. Afternoons are Marbles have become a blast, with P off doing his own thing, not needing constant intervention, and A crawling around and smiling and playing and learning.

And I'm loving it.

I'm loving my sons and I'm loving this summer and I'm actually loving my time with them. It's an enjoyment and bliss that I lost when we brought Brozy home. A freedom to just exist and have fun, to be a fun mom and not a constant disciplinarian.

I am enjoying them, and have been enjoying them in these past couple months in ways I hadn't thought possible in the months preceding.

And I really enjoyed them this morning.

Now... the baby just woke with a poopy diaper and P is making noise in his bed... let's hope this afternoon is just as enjoyable :)

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