Friday, October 22, 2010


So yesterday I got an email from a young woman who I don't know... I think. It's a big internet and I'm on a million sites that include my email so I could have honestly spoken with her before.

She asked if we were still interested in adopting a baby girl and informed me that she was expecting in a few months and thinking about making an adoption plan for her unborn child.

Initially, I wrote this off as a total scam. A Google Search of her name and email, though, brought me a tooooon of information/background/pictures, etc all leading to the conclusion that this is in fact a real person in a real crisis situation.

So I emailed back, advising she speak with an adoption counselor pronto.

And I still haven't heard back and am 50% certain (or more?) that we likely won't hear back. But I'd still like to, if only to be able to speak with her and offer advice myself.

Cuz see... we aren't desperate for a baby. Oh, yes, we would loooove another baby and I do have to admit that there's a part of me that hopes this is real and that it works out. But we aren't in the "OMG baaabyyyy!" stage. We have two children, we have the assurance that the adoption process does indeed work and you do end up with the children meant for your family. I don't need to go crazy about this and think only about us, about what we can gain. I can actually sit back and think about everything logically, carefully.

And I can realize that no matter what happens in the future that there is a real woman out there in a real, honest to God crisis situation who is reaching out for help. I guess I feel that the least I could do is email back...

My husband thinks I'm nuts, of course. Why risk scam or not go through lawyers or even speak with someone not working with an agency (and thus speaking through a reputable, respectable agency)?

So I ask you, oh ICLWers who might actually be reading this: Would you have emailed back? If so, what would you have said?


@jencull (jen) said...

Hi, visiting from ICLW, I would have emailed her back, especially after googling the details and figuring out it was a real situation. Ok, it might go pear shaped on you but it is very hard to turn our backs when people are in need. I would rather take the chance that it was a scam than turn away someone who was reaching out for help.

Go you for responding and for telling her to speak to a counsellor. You may never hear from her again, but you did the right thing:)


Ernie said...

If I was fairly certain this was a real person, I too would have emailed her back. In fact, I would probably email her back again to see how she's doing, and see if she contacted an adoption agency. She needs to know that she should NOT attempt to do an adoption without an agency. I placed my daughter with an adoptive family I am related too, (mother is my dad's first cousin) and we still used an agency!

The Wifey said...

Heya, I would've emailed back to give advice on who they might contact to get the ball rolling for them. Then maybe to check back in to see if she has any questions since you are not as new to the process as she may be.

Like you said, you are not in the OMG BABYYYYY stage, so if you can be okay with the fact that MAYBE this won't work out for 'you guys'... then there's no harm in giving her some advice. Right?

Just stopping by from ICLW :-) Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Will be checking back soon!