I was contacted a ways back by a woman who adopted through the same agency as us. We had even been at the same orientation class, and I think I recall being in at least one other required class with her. I used to see her family's image in the Waiting Families link, which I scrolled near daily as the wait went on. They were even shown to A's first mother. They were placed only a couple months after us.
So please understand when I say that reading about their adoption nightmare, which came out of nowhere, was long and drawn out and costly, and knowing that their sweet, happy little boy was taken back after over a year....
Let's just say it's been affecting me.
Like, in the "look up everything I can on NC adoption law" kind of affecting me. And the stressing. And the worrying. And giving my own little baby extra hugs.
Granted, the situations are entirely different when it comes to first families (A's first family was set on adoption and upfront with us), and we've been finalized for over a year now, meaning that now A is "as if born to" our family.
Even so... maybe it's the fact that we came so close to having each other's sons. Maybe it's the fact that we used the same agency, sat in the same room, filled out the same paperwork. Maybe it's the fact that the pictures of her little guy look so much like A's pictures at the same age. I don't know.
What I do know is that when I finally Googled their names and found the results of the court case a few nights ago it literally knocked the wind out of me and I had to go grab Ambrose from his crib and just hug and hug and hug him (he was a bit annoyed as he'd been "reading" himself to sleep, but he laid his head on me to appease me so I'd put him down).
It's just too close to home, you know? And while I consciously know that the same outcome is all but impossible for our family, it has still been affecting me.
I think it will just take a few more days for me to process that things like this do indeed happen, and to people I've met.
In the meantime, I think I'll just keeping giving A extra kisses and cuddles, telling him I love him, and being thankful that I get the joy of having him in my life each day.
Lily in a loafing barn
4 days ago