Wednesday, August 24, 2011

... I'm not sure I'm ready...

Tomorrow is the day.

Tomorrow... we'll all wake up, early probably and yet buzzing with energy.

I'll put his lunchbox in his backpack, on top of the pencils and crayons.

We'll grab the bag of classroom supplies.

Shoes on, breakfast eaten, baby in stroller, we'll walk together as a family...

It's only 15 minutes to his school.

And I'm not sure if it will feel like forever, or if it will blow right past.

At 8:30am we'll drop him off. Wave bye-bye. Give a kiss and hug and watch him walk away.

And then... it will be five and a half hours before I see my boy again. He'll meet new friends I don't know, have interactions I won't witness, even eat lunch without me.

And you know what?

I'm happy for him.

I'm happy that he's starting what is one of the most wonderful and incredible journeys in life.

I remember going to school, meeting friends, story time, singing, playing, recess, lunch, laughing, jokes, learning, and growing as a group.

And my sweet 'n spunky Paxton... Tomorrow he starts that journey.

Oh, sure, it's only a "testing" day. He won't go to school again for another week, won't even know his class or teacher until next Weds, and our time between that will be spent having fun together. I'm really looking forward to Wednesday morning when it's just the two of us!

And yet... it's the longest he's ever spent in a school setting, and it is sort of setting up not only the year but the next 13-20 YEARS of his life for him.

It's the end of the baby period, the end of innocence.

He's going to come home speaking about things and words he learned from his friends, he's going to get in trouble here and there, he's going to disappoint now and again, and he's going to really grow up.

He's entering, officially, the "school age child" category.

And there's no going back.

You can't return to being a baby or toddler or preschooler.

He'll be a schoolager for a looong time.

And... I'm so proud and happy and excited, but also so sad to see his pre-school age end.


Though, seriously, I bet he won't sleep all night and he'll be a pain in the bum in the morning and when it comes to actual drop off I may just be pretty happy about it at that point.... but for now I'm weepy!

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