Summer's End...

So it's August now. It... came faster than I thought it would. Last year I was just hoping to survive until August. Two small children, one hot summer... yeah, I was eyeballing the start date for preschool pretty heavily. And you know what? Last summer actually ended up being wonderful. Idyllic. Fantastic.

So this summer we said "screw summer long summer camp, and forget about swim lessons. Let's take it day by day and have fun! I want this whole summer to be a vacation!"

And you know what?

It has been.

It really has.

We've spent whole days at Science museums, hours just bouncing a ball at the park, we've had impromptu ice cream and french fry lunches, and the juice boxes (and mochas!) have flowed freely. Sometimes TV time goes a bit longer than it's supposed to, sometimes dinner is an hour late, sometimes we keep the kids up past our bedtime, and sometimes we go to a really fun place just to play in one area and we don't regret it in the least.

This week P is in summer camp, just for a week. It's throwing me off a bit, having only one child, but it's been good. He's spending a week at his old preschool, capping off his preschool years if you will, and he's doing it with four of his old classmates. He's painting, snacking, reading, and splashing in a pool making a grand old mess. The kid is soaking wet and has an ear to ear grin plastered to his face every day. He's having a blast, as is his younger brother who's loving the one on one attention he gets, and then loving the brotherly affection he gets later on as they make up for their time away.

But we can't do our "whatever" thing this week. There's no "hey, let's go out of town for the day" last minute decisions. There's no lunch out or morning playdates. It's scheduled again.

Next week we'll be in Maine which is AWESOME and I'm so happy I can hardly contain myself, but again, we'll have to be a bit more scheduled (and Funtown is on the schedule, woooooo, Astrodoooooome!!!!).

And then we're back.

And we have a week and a half...

A week... and a half...

Eight more play days. Eight more days of visiting a farm half an hour away just to sit in their corn room. Eight more days of hanging out at the mall, eating snack food and rolling down the slides backwards. Eight more days of lunches at home, of books at naptime, of brothers giggling in bed together, hiding under the covers while playing some unnamed game.

School starts on a Thursday.

And there will be no naps, and no lunches at home. N will be walking P to school. If they leave early, and A sleeps late, I may not actually see P at all until I pick him up in the afternoon. If I continue my schedule at the gym, and I plan to, then P will be dropped off most afternoons for an hour there.

Our days will be scheduled. Our evenings rushed for dinner then an early bedtime. There will be conversations in the car, homework, meetings...

And sure there will still be fun and crazy times. There will be weekends and vacations, plenty of them, and it will probably be such a fun and happy and wild ride that before I know it we'll be back to summer again, back to wild and free vacation land.

But for right now... I see Summer's End nearing.

And already I miss it.

Already I grieve a bit that this fun, fun time will be over soon.

P will probably do just fine in school. He's so social, so smart, so kind. He'll make friends quickly I'm sure, and there's a distinct possibility that my little charmer could end up a teacher's pet. And he'll most likely love it. I can envision him leaving the house each morning with his daddy, excited for the day. I can already hear our future conversations about his time at recess and his favorite stories from class. He goes on about his friends at preschool and at the gym, people he's grown close to, places he loves to be, and this school.... he'll be there 6 years of his life, more than he's lived already.

I'm excited for the start of it. But I'm sad about the end of summer. I'm sad about losing what we have now. And, really... I'm going to miss him.

I'm going to miss his serious tone of voice as we hold the most ridiculous conversations. I'm going to miss hearing the laughter of my two boys all day. I'm going to miss their every day/all day dynamic. I'm going to miss seeing his face light up as I put down a special lunch in front of him. I'm going to miss reading him a story before nap. I'm even going to miss butting heads and sending him to his room.

I'm going to miss him.

My sweet, kind, witty, silly boy who laughs so hard his whole body shakes....

*Sigh*...

And seriously, what am I supposed to do with this toddler when his brother isn't here to amuse him???? Eep!