Thursday, December 1, 2011

Kidspeak

It's the best part of having kids. I mean, okay, maybe the kisses and cuddles and watching them grow and simply just having kids could trump the kidspeak....

But seriously? Listening to young children speak to each other? Holding a conversation with them? Listening when they're explaining something to you? Oh. Oh, it's hilarious.

*****

On the way home from school:
P: Mommy, wow, look at that big bright light up in the sky! Doesn't that look so cool?
Me: Oh, yes, honey that's just the sun behind a cloud. It does look pretty doesn't it?
P: IT'S HURTING MY EYES! THAT LIGHT IS HURTING ME TO LOOK AT! WHY IS IT HURTING?
Me: Paxton, that is the SUN, stop looking right at the sun!!!!

*****

Me: Ambrose, what's your name.
A: Name Isaac!
Me: Your name is Isaac?
A: Ya, me name Isaac!
Me: Aw, how old are you Isaac?
A: Me five ears olds!
Me: Oh, that's great sweetie! Okay, we need to go now Ambrose.
A: NO! ME NAME ISAAC! ME FIVE EARS OLD!!!!!
Me: ... okay, um, Isaac. Let's go, okay?
"I": Okay!

*****

At the park, with a friend:
P: Do you like boogers?
F: Yeah, I love boogers!
P: Do you eat them??
F: Yeah!
P: Me too! They taste like cheese!
Me: OMG, eeeewwwww!!!!! Paxton, that's sick, don't... well, don't say that OR do that!
P: MOM! Why are you listening to me!
Me: Because you're sitting right beside me and yelling!

*****

In the car:
P:I'm sad.
Me: Why?
P: I'm going to miss my friends when school is out. Tomorrow is the last day!
Me: Oh, no honey, tomorrow is the last day of November!
P: But December is Winter Break!
Me: Not all of December, just a couple weeks toward the end. You'll still go to school for a few more weeks!
P: Yaaay! And do I get chocolate too? Every day in December?
Me: What, no, why... Oh! The Advent calendar, yes! Yes, you'll get a chocolate every day!
P: Yaaay!
A: Me too! Me too chocolate every day!
P: No, Ambrose, not you. Just me. Oh, and mom and dad. But not you.
A: MOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!!
Me: Yes Ambrose
A: ME TOO CHOCOLATE EVERY DAY?
Me: Yes, Ambrose, you too.
A: BRUDDA!!! Me too chocolate every day! Yaaaay!
Then they both clapped.

*****

I want to add that Ambrose is now petrified of fruit in jello and almost hyperventilated about a blackberry until I took it out and ate it. He knew it was a blackberry, and told me it was a blackberry, but apparently its presence in his jello was so utterly unnatural that he had to shove his jello across the table while shrieking and then cover his face screaming at me to get the berry out.

And he thinks there may be an emu hiding under our bathroom cabinet, so he has to check. Emu's are scary.

Also he's the wind and he can make things blow. Like leaves and straws and his brother and anything he gets in his little potty and your face, etc.

*****

This should not make him as happy as it does... We went to the mall bathroom *just* so he could side on this thing. He just loves it so much...



Wreaking havoc at the doctor's office. Seriously, we were there over an hour, last patients to leave. We took a walk, went to the bathroom (P got to pee in a cup!), played all over, looked at magazines, played on my phone, and I did everything in my power to keep them from trashing the place and going insane. Seriously, doctor's offices should come with a playland. Like McDonalds. Only sanitary, because it's a doctor's office. Granted if you're there you may be sick.... okay, bad idea, but still! Glad it's a yearly, not a monthly!

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