Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Not my best day


So I totally had a mommy meltdown today.

Crying, ranting, sitting on the floor sobbing over a poopy diaper presented by a smarmy, non-napping toddler who held it in just to avoid his nap.

So exhausted I couldn't even walk without feeling dizzy, and just a mind full of junk.

Did I eat too much at lunch?  The food was good, but the midwife told me to watch my intake since I'd gained 4.4 lbs in 4 weeks and that sort of increase at this point isn't needed (I was told anyway).  I haven't started to plan/pack for our Maine trip and we leave Friday.  We'll be driving 15 hours up, then 15 back.  I should get an oil change, air in tires, and rotation first, but when?  I need to drop off checks at the bank, but when?  I have so much produce and dairy to use up before I go.  It's not raining though that's been promised for days and the humidity is killing me, and my yard an garden are pretty much toast despite standing out in the humid heat a couple times a day to squirt water into them until they're dripping and puddled.  The chickens need more food, and cleaning, and I probably shouldn't be doing it but who else will?  We were supposed to go out tonight but I just can't get my head around spending more $$ to go out when we'll be eating out so much during vacation, but then again why would I pass up a date?  P is being such a good boy but I keep losing my temper with him, and A is a screaming banshee lately.  Wiggles keeps kicking my crotch and colon and as cute as that is, OMG not comfy!  I already have to pee every 30 minutes and as everyone gleefully tells me, full smirk, "It's only going to get worse, haha!"  I'm just tired and feeling useless and lazy and like a crap mom who just wants her kids to be freakin' quiet, like, all the time because I'm so. dang. tired. and the list of my chores is endless and there's only so much refereeing and coaching and mending and cuddling and reading and explaining and changing and dressing and etc and etc I can do all day. 

And now P came downstairs and is petting me.  Guess I should go... :-P


Sarah said...

Awww- I can tell you are tired and overwhelmed. You are a wonderful Mother and you do an amazing job w/ your kiddos.

Don't be so hard on yourself- you are growing a human being. That is an awesome feat in and of itself! Please let me know if you need anything. I would love to help in anyway that I can.

Shannon said...

So glad I'm not the only one! Hang in there :)

manymanymoons said...

I know this comment comes a little late, but you are a great mom and you have every right to melt down from time to time. Give yourself a break.

BTW - I absolutely hate when other mothers find pleasure in telling you how bad something is going to get. It is one of my biggest pet peeves.

I hope you have an amazing vacation!!