First off, wow, people read this? Awesome!
For the record, I'm very vocal/public on Facebook so if you ever need to "find" me feel free to search for Me.gan Mc.Kenney Ever.ett, without the little dots :)
Secondly, I feel like I have too much too catch up on, so here's my life lately in convenient bullet point style:
-P is starting Kindy this fall. He's finally registered. It was a long and arduous decision but we finally settled on the easiest option: his base school, a low rated and poverty stricken school that just completed it's first year as a magnet school focused on engineering. I got a good vibe when I toured the place, and they're putting a lot of work and love into turning everything around and making it a school worth going to. Fingers crossed we made the right choice. If nothing else, it's nice that we can walk there quickly (just a couple blocks away), that it's beside a park we frequent, and that neighbor kids on our street, who are super friendly and polite, go to the same school.
-That being said, I'm having totally mommy anxiety over this. What if I send him a sweet little "I love you" note in his lunchbox and another kid rips his note and he gets sad and they don't handle it right and he totally flips and out and goes completely catatonic, like he used to when he was younger? What if he hurts himself on the stone steps? What if they discover a new food allergy in the cafeteria and don't get him help in time? What if he's bullied or teased? What if he becomes a bully himself? What if what if what if? I know this is all a part of growing up, for both him and us, and I know that bumps and scrapes along the way are not only normal but necessary. But... but my little boy! I may need a Xanax prescription when Fall rolls around....
-I'm having fun at the YMCA but part of me feels like I'm not really pushing myself enough. Nik runs just about every morning now and I only make it to the Y every other day or so, though some weeks it's like every day. And I still eat junk food. Healthy meals, junky snacks. I need to keep more fruit in this house! Anyway, I'm thinking of getting a jogging stroller so that I can start running too. I recover from workouts very quickly now, leave the Y feeling the same as when I went in only usually freshly showered. I just have so much I want to achieve physically! right now I've met one goal: I can (barely!) touch my toes. But there's so much to do, such weak muscles, and such tight hamstrings, and lots of dance moves to master and lots of muscly work to perfect. I know slow and steady wins the race, and I do feel better physically since I started going in November, but I wouldn't mind... something. Something to keep me going. Some kind of pay off. Guess we'll see :)
-Ambrose is a little fusspot! There, I said it. Not like I haven't said it a million times before. I think this might be the point of my next post (hopefully coming sooner rather than later!) but the best way to put it is that he's extreme. In everything. Extremely curious and sweet and cuddly and excited and loving. Then extremely angry and sad and totally obsessed with something. He can have mild moods but he's always been a very extreme child, and I think that's just his personality. It can be frustrating and irritating and sometimes downright angering when he's in his "extreme anger" phase, and when he's extremely sad for the gazillionth time that week... well, it's hard to feel pity when a child cries if the child has cried frequently for the entire time you've known him. Yes, we meet his needs and care for him, but he's just... extreme. And you can't deal with extreme in an extreme way or it'll drive you nuts. So I manage to block out a lot of his fussing and/or screaming until I notice the looks of people around me. We're so used to it by now! It's gotten better, too, but still... I guess random strangers don't know that. Got some horribly nasty looks yesterday!
-I'm looking up adoption situations several times throughout the day. I don't know the wheres or the whens or the whos when it comes to Bug, but I know that someday... someday it'll happen. Maybe. Hopefully? I guess you never really know... but we feel it will. The big thing now is that I'm thinking pink and Nik's all about blue. So we'll see!
-One of my tires popped today on the way to P/T conferences. Lots of phonecalls and LOTS of $$ but it's dealt with. And I have four new tires! I feel so... stable now. Like, on the road when I drive. It's weird. I guess it'll take some getting used to.
-Nik and I are in the 5th season of Star Trek: The Next Generation. We're also in the 5th season of The Office. The latter is far better I think....
-I've resumed weekly dinners with my total BFF, Renata. Thursdays can't come fast enough :)
-The weather is nicer, and after a long, cold winter (by NC standards) I'm actually looking forward to the blazing heat of summer. For now. When it gets here I'll be wishing for winter again!
-Time to pump. Did I mention that I'm pumping again? Making about 3-4 extra ounces a day. Hopefully it'll increase by the time we're placed with Bug. I already have my Mother's Milk Tea ready to go to help with supply! Also, did I mention how much I absolutely HATE pumping? Hate it. Too much work to set up and clean up, and it's still a little too cold for my poor girls to be exposed so much (but cold flanges no less). But if I can have a nursing relationship with Bug too, just like I've had/am having with Ambrosey.... totally worth it.
And that's.... all I can think of right now. So nothing too major or anything :) Will try to post more frequently!
Lily in a loafing barn
5 weeks ago