You were so sorely needed!
Paxton has been ultra clingy this week so having a good day was, well... good.
I got to sleep in till after 10am, rest until 11:30 sans child, he ate and went down for a nap just fine, we had a great afternoon at Sarah P Duke Gardens followed by dinner at Elmo's followed by a short trip to a mall (and a $2 bouncy castle play time) followed by an uneventful car ride home, quick showers all around (we were sweaty!), an easy bedtime and a kid passed out asleep.
I think Paxton actually had the best day. This morning he got to see Gran, ate a waffle, played at the new exhibit at the kid's museum (opening day!) where he got to plant and water herbs and play in their new sandbox, went to the train station to see the trains depart, had his favorite PB&J sandwich, slept easily cuddled into me, got to wake up beside me (I'm crafty and snuck back in!), and ran like a crazy boy at the gardens. And we saw a baby turtle! It was the size of a quarter! And baby ducklings! Like, 15 of them following one duck!
Nik said he was glad to see me happy around Paxton. I didn't realize it but most of the time he sees me with Paxton it's the end of the day and I'm tired and he's usually started throwing his afternoon tantrums. Apparently he was overjoyed to see me playing with Pax, teaching him, running with him, laughing and having fun. Um, that's still like 90% of my day... but I guess if he never sees it then I understand. And on the weekends Pax tends to gravitate more towards Nik which I'm fine with so I guess he really hasn't seen too much of me and Pax one-on-one, though I'm still going to blame him. Uh, who cuddles him down for a nap every day? And stays the extra few minutes after lights out to sing a few more songs and list his accomplishments of the day and tell him how proud I am? Sorry, I wasn't just shocked that he didn't normally see me happy with him, I was a little insulted too. I know I shouldn't be since Nik is right that he doesn't see it that often, and maybe I should work on that. But after a long day when he's starting to get sick of me and I'm starting to get sick of him (or at least his post-nap tantrums), when Nik walks through the door I just kinda say "yay daddy's home! You two have fun while I make dinner!"
Aaaaanywho, not to bog a good day down :) And not that I could be in any way mad for more than like 10 minutes. Whatever happened to my grudge keeping days? Yeesh, motherhood really does change you!
Tomorrow there's a potluck at church. I decided I'm not going to be my normal lazy self and not bring anything (and either just eat other people's stuff or leave). I'm actually going to bring something! I'm just going to be my new lazy self and bring something from the store. Actually, the channa masala packets I bought from the Asia store for a whopping $1.69 each. They taste great, aren't that bad for you, and microwave up in 2 minutes. I'll just chop some onion to put on top. Not sure if I should serve it with anything. Don't really have anything to serve it with! But at least I'm contributing something :)
I pumped a whole ounce in one sitting! Twice!
Two weeks ago after I'd slept in on Saturday morning I pumped a whole half ounce. I was in shock! It was by far the most I'd gotten. After that I started getting .25 oz pretty regularly. Now I'm up to getting .5 oz pretty regularly, even at night sessions. That 1 ounce this morning though shocked me! I actually flooded the diaphragm! I'm also waking up at night without an alarm now, or at least I have done that the past few nights. I'm still setting the alarm though, just in case. Anyway, the second ounce was after our time in Durham. It had been 5 hours, I took a quick shower and pumped out an ounce. They were achy!
Sometimes when I think about it the amounts seem really miniscule. I mean, c'mon, an ounce max? .5 oz a side? That's so tiny! How can it hurt! But then I think of the size of these little sacs holding it and I can see why I'm waking up at night to twinges and that tight feeling in certain spots. I also look at the milk I get out of me in a sitting and think "now, if I had an object in my breast that was this size I would expect it to hurt. So yes, it is reasonable that this feels uncomfortable."
I'm just hoping I continue to increase. Also hoping I can go back to pumping both sides simultaneously again. I seem to have my best increases when I stop that and do each side individually, going back and forth to trigger let downs. I'd love to do it in half the time though.
Lily in a loafing barn
4 months ago