You know you're crazy when...

You have a 3 month old and you start to seriously think about adding another one. Maybe it's because Paxton's doing so well in preschool and I'm getting a break, or maybe it's because Ambrose made it through another growth spurt and is sleeping a bit better at night again, or maybe it's both, or maybe it's that silly little internal voice starting up again, that same out-of-nowhere voice that lead us to our first two children. Dunno.

The big question has been:
-Another baby?
OR
-An older child between the age of our kids?

Either one wouldn't really disrupt birth order and might be equally hard. And older child would need more time with bonding and attachment, a baby would need more physical care. And there's a need for homes for both. In the end, it's a toss up, though we're leaning toward baby. I feel kind of bad typing this, but Paxton had an anxious attachment and really, between him and Ambrose, A was just easier to add to our family. But we don't regret Paxton or the process we went through with him at all, and I know we wouldn't regret another child who needed that extra care, even if it was very hard at that time....

I don't know. I get the feeling it will be "baby" again though.

Still no clue if we'll ever try fertility treatments, either. Lactation took away all fertility from me so we can't even TTC while A is nursing, which I intend to let him do until at least a year and likely beyond.

*****

I just have to mention... I found an agency that works in Congolese adoptions and seems to be able to get home very young babies very quickly (and ethically) and the children are greatly in need. I'm tempted. Very tempted. As hard as it might be... we do have a Congolese population in our area and the children are in need, and if we started the process when A is a year then by the time he's 2 he'd likely have a little brother... or sister....

But likely brother....

I'm totally loving my boys. I might change and want a girl next time around but right now? Most people won't ask for boys and they're just so precious. I wouldn't mind a home full of boys I think :)

Ah, the time! I need to get dressed and leave for preschool in 10 minutes! Eep!